It seems another problem I have when it comes to love and women is moving on. When I was with Chelsie it never really mattered that she left because I’d grown tired of her existence. But then she wanted me back and I, trying to be a nice guy, let her try again. Thing is, years later, I’d still let her try again, out of no particular reasoning of my own. I’d do the same thing to my other ex’s… When Stephanie broke up with me, I gave her four or five other chances, each of which she took advantage of.
Misty did the same thing, only this is where my flaw as a lonely teen shows through. When I’ve grown to be alone too much or for too long, I go to whomever I think will accept me back. This means that I let Chelsie back into my life, I let Stephanie use me five more times, I begged Misty to come back after I left her, and now I broke down crying for Cliodhna to come back to me. It’s sad, I suppose, that I keep trying to rehash abusive, sad, and despicable relationships. But, I guess that loneliness is the price you pay for being unwanted by society and seemingly unloved by all others.
Unhealthy, yes. Unsavory, yes. Unprideful, most certainly. But then again, I could change this in an instant. I could get past the memories of my ex’s, and simply move on into different things and other people. Why I choose not to, I have no idea; it seems like the smart thing to do. Until I do, however, I guess I’m bound to keep re-dating the same pool of girls I’ve collected until someone better comes along and sweeps them all away.
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